So I'm gonna jump right into today's topic. The "80/20 Rule". If you've never heard of it before, here's a little history behind it. "In 1906, Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto created a mathematical formula to describe the unequal distribution of wealth in his country, observing that twenty percent of the people owned eighty percent of the wealth. The 80/20 Rule means that in anything a few (20 percent) are vital and many(80 percent) are trivial." (Via About.com) Now this can be applied to basically anything in life. Pareto applied it to the wealth in his country, many people apply it to stocks and bonds, etc. Today, I'm gonna apply it to relationships.
Now that we know what it is, let's set up the discussion. If you are in a relationship with someone who gives you 80% of what you want, and what you need, where does that other 20% go? Does it get lost or forgotten? Or is it still in the back of your mind? Are you willing to sacrifice that 20 for the 80 that you're receiving?? What if we take it a step further. What if I asked what your 80% was composed of? What does this other person have to provide you with in order for that 20% to become insignificant??
Relationships, any type of relationship, all parties involved should be able to compromise and 'give up' certain things, or try to work on certain traits, in order for the relationship to flourish and grow. They cannot and will not work if one person is not willing to compromise on something, for the greater good of the relationship.
I will leave you with one more question. Is there anything that you just would not be able to sacrifice when it comes to the 80/20 rule? Have you ever felt like you were in a situation where your significant other was only giving you 20% of what you needed and wanted, but the other 80% was nowhere to be found? Imma just let all this marinate.
Contribute all thoughts and answers at will.
ah the 80/20 - been there done that. i was too young to realize that if i'm giving 80 and only getting 20 that it was time to gtfon about my business. but yeah 20 is settling, 80 is good and relationships - like learning should be - is a forever thing. it doesn't stop when you get it. you either learn to live without the 20 or compromise and take the extra 1-20 you might get on certain days - but it's a forever job. if it paid - and you're really in love with the person - it'd be recession proof...lol. what's funny is when ppl see the 20 missing and can get it in someone else and are blinded to the fact that the 80 they are getting is all they need - but they leave it anyways. then be mad with the 20 they got while 80 done moved on and lucked up and got into an 80/80 situation. sucks to be that person but it happens. :)
ReplyDeleteIf more people understood this, the divorce rate would decrease.
DeleteExactly!!
DeleteMy relationship is definitely the definition of the 80/20 rule...
ReplyDeleteIs that a good thing, or a bad thing??
DeleteI feel that any relationship has flaws. The relationship has flaws because people have flaws. When you are mature, you can handle and NOT nag about the 20%. For examples, my husband throws his clothes onto the floor (except for work attire), he rarely rinses his dishes, and he loads the dishwasher with tiny lids on the bottom. I have made the cognitive choice to 'accept' it. WHY? It's simple. He does so many more things right and more importantly, he loves me and all my minuscule things uncontrollably. Think about it. How would it sound at a divorce proceeding hearing someone say, "I hate the fact he doesn't hang his clothes up. I also am angered by the way he puts dishes in the dishwasher." DUH! Doesn't that sound stupid. The 80% is worth all of the love and tears that have been shed and shared for almost 20 years. If the 20% is something you can live with, don't nag him about it. Love him in spite of it.
ReplyDeleteLove this!! I think a lot of people really have their 80 confused with their 20. And then you have to know the things you are not willing to sacrifice on, and whether or not you can live with only getting 20 of it. I know that I could never be with someone who didn't want children. That's in my 80. It could never be, and will never be in my 20. If I met someone who didn't want anything to do with children, it would never work. So you just gotta know..Thanks for this response!
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